I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
