I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
