tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I fill condoms, not promises.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
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