My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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