if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
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