I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Randomize