I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
