I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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