like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
