Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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