My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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