if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
