We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
