i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
