she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
