You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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