Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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