He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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