K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
dude i'm inner monologue high
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize