margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
