Just cropdusted the office
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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