I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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