I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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