just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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