it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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