Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
