Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize