I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Randomize
