I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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