Where did you get a picture of my penis
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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