Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
