If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
