I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Randomize