PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
