So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
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