P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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