he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize
