O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
