It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
