D3 body, D1 cock
Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
