We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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