I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
