OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
