The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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