Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
