is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
i think im in europe. pls send help
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Randomize
