Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
