Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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