btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I could make wine with my vomit
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
