Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize