omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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