If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize