i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
