she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I am full of burrito and curiosity
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
