Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
you inspire me to be a worse person
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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