I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Randomize
