Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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