the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Randomize
