Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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