we have pet lesbian snakes
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
