i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
