Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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