I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
try to milk me bitch
Randomize