help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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