One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
