I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
