already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
