Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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