If that was your dad, he is hot
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
My balls are so social today.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
