Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
