whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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