FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
