nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
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