He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
