Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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