My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize